Things That Make You Go "HMM"

It was sort of sprung on my husband and myself recently that Christmas Eve was being celebrated at our home this year. Apparently my mother decided that she was hosting the event for the family at our home without so much as even mentioning it to either one of us! In fact, we both found out "through the grape-vine" because she didn't bother telling us. It wasn't meant to be a surprise either, she just didn't bother informing us.

Well since Johnny won't be home for Christmas Eve, that's fine. We can hang with that. Well a few more days pass and it gets closer to the event. It's becoming more and more of an inconvenience. My mother didn't ask for any help. She plans to prepare ALL the food herself. She hardly ever cooks any more, and frankly, when she does, it comes with apologies that sound like this "Don't let me cook if you don't want it burnt!". (sigh) Also, I've been having some issues keeping up with Johnny's feedings which caused us to have to spend money we didn't intend on to rent a hospital-grade breast-pump (they are over $3000 to buy one outright) and in addition to the financial output, I also have had to increase the amount of time I spend attempting to increase his food supply. I have to spend 15-20 minutes practically every 2 hours attempting to get caught up with Johnny's intake. So when our company is here I will more than likely need to excuse myself to do that as well. It's quite boring and sad because I don't even have any printed pictures of him to look at (my printer busted right before I was admitted to the hospital), and it just feels weird to spend so much time of every day doing that.

All of the above were making things a little uncomfortable, but none of them were upsetting me too bad. I was still a little excited about everyone coming over, and I don't have to do even more traveling (car rides are painful because of the cesarean surgery). It's just that now we're on our last pennies and we have to worry about having gas to get over to see our little Johnny everyday. We had to spend our grocery and remaining Christmas money to be able to continue having Johnny benefit from breast-milk. Priorities. Anyhow my mom decided that she needed a few more groceries for the party. I told her that it wouldn't be such a bad thing to ask our family guests to bring something. That's the way we used to do it, instead of one person taking it all on. She refused to listen and insisted we go get drinks for everyone for Christmas Eve. I let her know since we're headed to the grocery store, I needed to get some groceries if she could loan me some money. She was happy to loan me some money for groceries. We shopped around. She got the few items she needed, I got some groceries to last us for dinners & things for the next few days. I picked up the sodas and kids' drinks she asked me to get (her choices), etc. When we get to the checkout line I asked her how much of the groceries we're getting that she expects me to pay her back for, or if she wanted to separate the purchase. First, she said I have to pay her for "all of it". Then she thought about it and picked a few things that she said she guesses she'll pay for. So I tossed over a few more things that I would never buy her way, but I still got stuck with almost $15 worth of beverages I don't normally buy for my family to make my mother happy for the event that SHE is hosting. I am expected to pay her back for all that and she also tells me that I need to get some other items while we were in the store. I went ahead and grabbed this stuff (about $10 worth) and she tried to talk me into getting the stuff that cost 1 1/2 times more. I explained that it was more expensive and she agreed with me finally. At the time I thought I was looking out for her, but no, I owe her for that stuff too.

This is what I mean by "Things That Make You Go "HMM", and why I was feeling really sour. I just don't understand how she always manages to believe that she is doing something generous (like loaning me money when I'm having a tight time), yet at the same time she is screwing me over, and either she doesn't realize it or she is really good at pretending she's ignorant. It burns me that I'm struggling to see my little man everyday, I'm struggling to make sure he has the most beneficial feedings, I'm struggling to make sure she doesn't stress out about her planned gathering, and she sticks me with bill for it. I thought she was bringing the family to us to spare us pain, expense, and time, etc. I ended up borrowing money from her to pay for things she needed to host the darned thing, unintentionally even! I don't even know how that happened, I feel so duped! By my own mother! If I had a friend who pulled a fast one like that on me, I wouldn't be their friend any more! HMM.

Have I mentioned how irritating it is that she screams "Oh SHIT!" about 1 million times EVERY SINGLE DAY!? I'm not kidding, she says it about 4-5 times in row, then she'll say a sentence (or sometimes up to about 3-4 more sentences,) then it's back to more "Oh Shit"s! It's so disgusting to hear day-in and day-out. She sounds like a squawking bird!