I'm Going To Be Really Tired

I'm going to be really tired tomorrow! I can't sleep. It's coming up on 5 AM and I just feel so anxious for no reason that I am aware of. I can't believe this. I think it could have something to do with enjoying being alone in a sense. Of course everyone is here (except my husband who is still working/living in AZ during the weekdays) but they're all asleep and I can gather some thoughts uninterrupted and it's a miraculous feeling! I've visited everyone's blog that I link to and have been inspired and informed and refreshed and have experienced a wealth of different emotions.

There are some really sucky new bands and new songs. And why are kids these days doing the 1980's look? Uck for the boys, slight uck for some of the girls.

I wish I could get healthier and get off this Diabetic medication and have a few drinks of alcohol without worrying about bad or deadly reactions my body may have to the mixture.

I want to feel good and take my kids swimming. I want to be thin enough to see certain areas of my body that need hair removal so that I can feel confident in a swimsuit without cover-up materials. I've thought about getting waxed when I go in for my mani-pedi, but I'm too embarrassed. I feel guilty enough having someone fix-up my well-treaded feet. I'm long over-due for a mani-pedi too. I've sort of been putting it off because Big S needs a pedicure too and I just don't feel like spending that much money and I would feel so guilty to get my feet done and not hers too. Hers are about a bad as mine poor little thing. That's what happens when you go barefoot and occasional sandals like us gals!

My 31 year old pregnant niece left me feeling unnecessarily insulted today when she told me that she changed Doctors for her OB/GYN care because she no longer wanted to have the same Doctor that I had (Dr. Rebecca Tyre). Lame. I only saw her two times before I was hospitalized and then my care was taken over by the high risk Docs at Desert Perinatal. It irritates me because it was a foolish thing to do, a rude thing to say, and Dr. Tyre seems like a really great Doctor! In fact I need to set an appointment with her for my regular GYN check-up. She is a very caring Dr. She was very empathetic to my feelings when I was high risk and everything felt like it was falling apart for me and my pregnancy with Johnny. I was so scared because we had just lost a baby and that fear was always foremost on my mind every time one more complication arose.

I've rambled enough and now Big S and Grandma Diana are both awake, so I no longer have "my peace". Ha ha.