I Really AM an Internet Stalker (True Stories of Some of My Exes)

My husband just pointed out to me that I am stalking my ex-boyfriend on the internet. How awkward is that?

It's not what you think though. I'm not interested or in love or obsessed with him or anything like that. It's more like trying to understand what I was thinking back then. The reason I'm checking statuses and things like that are because he's been in a lot of trouble with the law and recently on the news for a "Manhunt" and later caught and now released. At least that's what my guess is from the comments left by his friends and family and his status update on his MySpace page.

But he wasn't my first mistake, or the last. I just don't understand how it seems like all of my exes are off-the-charts psychotic?

And as a side note, they were all left-handed.

I also have reason to believe the internet-only stalking may mutual. But I don't feel threatened personally by him or any of my exes any more, except the MF.

In sixth grade I had a boyfriend I hung out with at the skating rink who later went to Juvi, I don't remember the charges.
Then in Junior High I dated a boy who set my hair on fire when I broke up with him.
After him I dated another guy who turned out to be an actual gang member. He was affiliated with the Crips.

Then the boyfriend I had in the beginning of high school was later questioned in the vicious stabbing murders of his mother and sister that took place a few years after we broke up. He was somehow cleared as a suspect. At least that's what he said, but he remains in hiding: somewhere in AZ.
[Case #:980906-0249
Victim: #1 - Agnes Burkin, #2 - Sharyn Burkin
Suspect: Unknown
Location: 4620 Glen Davis Drive
Date: 9-6-1998

Synopsis:
On 9-6-98 at approximately 1:37am Clark County Fire Department responded to a house fire at 4620 Glen Davis Drive. After entering the residence Fire Department personnel discovered the bodies of two white females. The victims showed obvious trauma which was not consistent with the fire. It appeared the victims were murdered in their home and then the house was set on fire in an attempt to cover the crime. The victims were mother and daughter.

Anyone with information is urged call LV Metro Homicide Cold Case Detail at 702-828-COLD.]


Then there was the guy that I wrote about in the beginning of this post who started off with a clean record when I met him and accrued all kinds of charges thereafter. Do I bring it out in people? Am I so messed up that I make people crazy!?

Let's see... I think I was 15 when we met and he was 16. His first incident he got sent to Juvenile Detention for "doing donuts" in front of a four-plex apartment building and from the dirt yard rocks were kicked up in the tires and thrown up which busted a window or two. In addition the truck was unregistered and uninsured, and he was underage and drunk. I waited for him to get out.

Then a few months later him and a group of his friends were walking to the store in the afternoon when one of his buddies said something about me (because we had just had a fight over the phone) and he pulled out his pocket knife and literally chased him down and stabbed him in the back to the point he almost died. He did it in broad daylight near a neighborhood park. Witnesses called the police and him and his best friend ran, buried the knife, ran some more, and he called me again. An Officer came by the house and talked to my parents (ouch), and when he called me back I talked him into turning himself in, with the promise I would be there for him again when he got out.

I dated around a bit and had a good time, but eventually he did get out and I was too scared to try to flee. I was also young and attracted to the situation in a sick way. After all that we moved in together (I know, ::sigh::) and it didn't take long before he was beating me regularly. It was very bad. Very, very bad. We also didn't have a phone. I found out he was cheating on me (with one of his friend's girlfriends of all people) and I left him. I had to get far away so I moved to Arizona. I had just got a new car and I made the awful mistake of giving him my old one. Before that, he didn't have a car at all.

Well, eventually I came back from AZ (for Christmas) to be with my family and for good. I started seeing him again and staying with him at our old apartment even though I hadn't moved back in. On New Year's Eve he didn't come home until very late. One of our friends/neighbors was over drinking next door and his pregnant wife was at home sick. Well I had the front door open, because we were all pretty much hanging out together (open doors and such) and when I went to the bathroom in my ex's apartment, although I locked the door, our friend/neighbor drunk as all hell unlocked it and walked in and pulled his part out and stuck it in my face asking me if I liked how it looked. Oh boy! Well I was pretty upset and I was able to get him home without scuffle but when my ex boyfriend finally did come home and we (my friends and I) told him what happened he lost it again. He ran up to their apartment (both of them sleeping by now) and banged on the door. When my friend (the guy's wife) answered the door, he ran inside of their apartment (they also had a 3 year old little boy) and grabbed her husband and pulled him outside and tried to get him to admit it in front of everyone. Well he wouldn't and his wife was denying he would do something like that too. It was out of character for him, but it did happen and in fact she was never told the worst of it. When punches were thrown, she called the cops. He took off in the car I had given him and was blocked at the complex exit, completely, by about 6 cop cars. He was arrested.

Sometime later him and I were going through the drive-through at a taco joint when his best friend (the one who ran with him after he stabbed his other friend) called complaining that he was spending time with me instead of him. Especially since I had been dating other people while he was locked up and started going off on how awful I am. Of course I heard all of this because the call was made to ME on MY cell phone to get a hold of him and I handed him the phone on speakerphone. Well he stewed on it and asked me to take him over to his best friend's girlfriend's house. That's where his best friend was. And I did.

When we got there he told me to wait in the car. I started to come up after he was at the door for a while and as I was walking up the driveway I seen him run out into the yard and grab a baseball bat and run back to the door. I headed back to my car and the girl comes out threatening me and (oh my) my ex-boyfriend went after her with the bat and his best friend came after him and stopped him and they really got into it after that and he was beating the crap out of his best friend with a bat and the girl called the police and as I was driving away he jumped in the car with me. Now, I was a get-away driver!

Eventually we were pulled over and he didn't argue with me that I needed to pull over either. We were both arrested but after both of our statements were filled out, I was let go and he was not. His attorney was in constant contact with me as if I was his mother. I later learned that he had told her that I was pregnant in an attempt to get the Court to be more lenient on him. I told her it wasn't true, but the Court ended up feeling bad for him eventually anyhow. His mother had killed his father (shot him to death) right in front of him and the prosecuting attorney was trying to point out that he's got "bad blood" and went on about how evil his mother and father were and he broke down in tears.

By this time I started to feel like all his problems were my fault. I was making him crazy. Everything that happened to me affected him so bad that he went nuts. Which made me feel more obligated to him. I visited him a few times while he was locked up too.

Meanwhile, I started dating another guy who ended up stalking me when I wouldn't except an engagement ring from him. I wasn't ready for that and he starting causing me problems at work and hiding out waiting for me & watching me. He finally backed off, and although I'm not sure what made that happen, I'm thankful that it ended.

And when my last boyfriend finally got out, we started dating again. Of course it wasn't long before more craziness began and he had punched me in the back of my head so hard that I thought I was dead. I left him, for good. Or so I thought...

He still had a lot of my things, including some things that were too important for me to let go. I asked him if it would be okay if I came back to get them and that I wouldn't be alone, he got some friends of his own together and agreed. I asked the strongest guy I knew from work to come with me (the co-worker later become my first husband) to get my things and he agreed. That went off without a problem, amazingly. We both had finally had enough of each other.

Now I had a whole new problem. I found myself once again feeling obligated... To someone new this time. I owed a favor to the strongest guy at work, who leaned a lot toward the satanic type. Surprise, surprise, right? He was in a jam with his landlord and needed to move out quick (she lived next door to him!). I was searching for an apartment and we decided to get one together. We moved into a really nice two bedroom apartment and we became closer friends than we had any business becoming, and in a short period of time.

It wasn't long before things got out-of-hand there too. He was beating me, throwing things at me, and tons of emotional abuse. He was harder to live with than the last guy. He drank, he drove drunk, and I found out he was heavily into drugs. He even wrecked a few times (hit & run with parked vehicles or permanent objects/buildings) with my truck. He also got so mad at me one night, when I caught him cheating on me, that he punched my windshield and broke it! I'm pretty sure he was aiming for me that time too, but he was very intoxicated. He spent all my money and had my bank account overdrawn. He ruined my credit and hiked my insurance rates.

Breaking things off with him was impossible, I had no where to go! On New Year's Eve he had his way with me and it resulted in pregnancy. I had already lost a pregnancy earlier that year and an abortion was not an option for me. He had another girlfriend too, which made things even harder. He said he would straighten up and wanted to get married (after some pressure from other people who didn't know the whole story). I felt I didn't have much choice, I was really sick and I couldn't think straight. We ended up getting married about 10 days after I found out I was pregnant.

He continued to treat me like a dog and continued to cheat on me with his girlfriend (he never broke up with her). I was miserable and they were both trying to cause me to miscarry again. His girlfriend even told me that she was going to take my baby from me.

When I was 9 months pregnant I moved back in with my parents. He somehow talked his way into moving in with me at my parent's home. My parents were just as bad of judge of character as I was. My daughter was born and he spent less and less time with us and more and more time with his girlfriend. By that, I mean that there were days and weeks at a time that he would not be reachable and I would have no idea where he was. Often he took off with my vehicle, because like the others, he didn't have one of his own. Eventually he said he was leaving for good, but he tried to take off for good with my vehicle. We had a good physical fight over it until my dad walked into the garage and the keys were kindly handed to me. I dropped him off at work and didn't hear from him again for about 4 months.

Which was so nice! I had been relieved of SO much stress, that, in those 4 months I lost almost 30 lbs! Although he had called once telling me he was going to blow up my home. After those 4 months he came by & told me that he was sorry and that he was never going to bother me or my baby ever again. Woohoo, right?!? Well, it seemed so until... I really can't comment on the other things he has done since, because I don't want to cause myself any more problems legally.

By then I had met my wonderful husband, John. We finally felt like a real family! My daughter finally has a father who really cares about her and comes home to us every night. He doesn't abuse us and he provides us with all that we need and more. I love him more than anything! He's also very good looking, unlike any of the others. And with my husband, we have provided my oldest daughter with a beautiful and intelligent younger sister and a gorgeous and monstrously strong baby brother!

And best of all, my husband isn't left-handed like the others. :)