Ryan's Blanket / A Cherished Gift

As I mention a few days ago (Or were it last week?), John and I have decided to name our angel baby boy (in Heaven).

His name is Ryan.

My husband's Mom (The kids call her "Grandma Zee".) made Ryan a tiny little baby blanket. John brought it home this evening. Well, Tuesday evening, 2/3/09. It's blue and white and small. It still could have swaddled Johnny in his first few months, easy.

This blankie won't be handed down though. This will always be Ryan's blanket. Ryan has nothing else material in this physical world and this gift will be cherished by all of us as our reminder of our baby, (and for the kids, their brother) who rests with our Lord.

Grandma Payne ("Grandma Zee") had been working on a blanket for Ryan before anything went wrong. After the horrible news she was beside herself what to do with it and disassembled it. When she learned recently that we had decided, finally, to name him and I had come to terms with the loss of him, she quickly made him his blanket.

It means a lot to me, and it means a lot to John. The girls understand and I think it brings them a bit of closure. I can't imagine what all this has been like for them. They were a big part in the pregnancy, coming to my Doctor appointments with me and everything.

My feelings right now are just indescribable.