Hard time understanding

I'm having a really really hard time understanding my mother. For the 5th time this week I have taken a shower only to have her start the washer or dishwasher and freeze me out just minutes into my washing! Every time my husband or I go into the kitchen, she comes rushing in there with something urgent to do too. Last night I came home from the grocery store and we were putting groceries away and my mother comes rushing to the dishwasher exclaiming that she needs to start the dishwasher up. I told her, "We're trying to get the groceries put away right now, there isn't that much room in here." So she storms off "Fine! But I'll probably be asleep by the time you're done!" She knew I went to the store, she could have started it then, couldn't she? I'm lost! She is causing me to be like her because she complains about everything which in turn causes me to complain and her living with me causes me to complain about all the completely ignorant things she constantly does that I can not understand. You know she's scaring off my daughter's friends by threatening them?! Yes she tells 5-6 year olds that she's going to call the cops on them if they touch my daughter (because a little girl stepped on her toes). So all the kids are freaked out about the paranoid old woman now. She used to embarrass the hell out of me when I was little too. No wonder I never had any worthwhile friends during elementary days. ::sigh::

I wish I was normal and could take control of everything here. I'm in so much pain, lack of sleep, constantly having to breastfeed my preemie, plus trying to cook meals for everyone and keep a walking path through a few rooms in the house, lmao! OMG every little bit seems like so much work, I am exhausted. I want my time, health, and energy back! And I want my pre-pregnancy (and by that I mean before I EVER got pregnant) weight/shape/energy back!