Feeling Entirely Unappreciated

Last night hubby and I were ready to relax in bed and watch tv. I went to use the restroom and when I came out everyone was crashed-out. I looked at hubby and said aloud "He's out." I went over and peeked at Johnny and said "And he's out." Just then, Wiggles peers around the corner from Daddy's side of the bed as I am crawling into bed and I looked over to her and said "And you're not going out." Because she kept hearing me say "out", it's like a "key word" for her to get to go "do her business".

Daddy then jumps angrily out of bed and yells at me about waking him up and knowing that I was implying he take the dog out, and blah, blah, blah. None of which was correct but whatever. He took her out for a walk all the while resenting me.

Johnny woke up around 3 AM at which point I'm feeding him and my 7 year old comes blasting in my room telling me she has to "go" really bad and there's a huge scary bug in her bathroom. So I told her to use my restroom. So when she was finished I put Johnny back in his bassinet and got the bug spray and went a huntin'. Well I couldn't find the bug but I went ahead and sprayed around the baseboards, tub & faucet plugs, and the cabinets.

Little Johnny wasn't finished getting all his needs fulfilled so I had to come back to him. Meanwhile the 7 year old is popping in and out of my room with various ridiculous questions, apparently too delirious to understand me when I keep telling her it's the middle of the night and to go back to sleep. She is insisting I should be making her waffles!

I got her to go back to her room, but all that talking she done about food made me hungry. So I got some chips & salsa, and some slices of turkey and put cream cheese on em. Then I came to my computer and browsed around the net some while I ate.

I went back to bed and I don't even know if I got to lay there long enough to have fallen asleep when Johnny started waking up again to be fed. So I get up again and go to make him a bottle and in comes my daughter, again, telling me that the dog pooped on the floor in her room in two spots and bled all over my other daughter's comforter. So I told her to go back to her room and I would take care of that in a little bit.

Johnny was being quiet again. So I gave the dog a dirty look -she knew she was in trouble- and I went to use the restroom. When I came out, that darn dog was in my bed, in my spot! I was totally enraged! I drug her by her collar to her crate, which she happily ran inside of (it's like a security thing for dogs, "their safe place"). Once she was in there though, I locked her up inside. Then I went to the kids room and cleaned up her messes. I came back to the dog and scooted her and her crate right out the back door onto the patio. I figured hubby would let her out in less than an hour when he takes her out for a walk before work. Plus the weather is nice. Not too cold, nor too hot.

So I return to finally take care of the baby. I pick him up and he smells awful. Sure enough, he threw up. And when I picked him up, he threw up all over me too. I had to change my clothes, strip him, wash all his stuff, bathe him, diaper, lotion, and dress him, brush his hair, then finally feed him again.

During his feeding, my husband finally wakes up and starts to get ready for work.

My daughter hears him getting up and comes rushing in again asking if it's time for breakfast yet. ::sigh:: I don't know if I mentioned this before, but she is obsessed with food. So I made her a bowl of cereal.

When hubby gets out of the shower he says to me "Your f***ed up sleep schedule is screwing me up! Especially when you're snacking and typing at the keyboard. It's like I'm never going to get any real sleep!"

I was so appalled that I was speechless. I still can't even put into words how those statements made me feel.

I thought surely he appreciated that I let him sleep. I never ask him to feed the baby in the middle of the night because I'm too tired. I didn't ask him to clean up the dog poop and discipline the dog because the baby is hungry and threw up all over himself and then me. I let him sleep while I smell like baby puke. I let him sleep while I scrubbed poop out of the carpet (and only someone with Cushing's themselves could understand how excruciatingly difficult and painful that is). I let him sleep while I bathed the baby after scrubbing poop out of the carpet and my back is in killer paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you know, when he woke up, I said to him "Good morning, honey!" And when he asked me "What's going on?" I said "Not too much." Then I said "The dog is in her crate outside on the back patio because she pooped on the floor in the kids' room twice." I figured I had better explain that one because he was going to take her out for her walk soon. Then I went ahead and told him that the baby threw up and I had to kill some bugs in the middle of the night.

I think that was when he laid into me. About my sleep schedule. This isn't my sleep schedule, I don't have a sleep schedule. I'm the one who doesn't get enough sleep. But what the heck ever.

So he hugs me "Goodbye" and I hear the patio blinds rustling so I am pleased he took out the dog before leaving for work. I went to lay down and try to get some more sleep. Doesn't seem like I was there very long again before Johnny was awake wanting to be fed, again. I know I didn't fall asleep yet that time.

I fed him and then hubby calls. He tells me that he "checked on Wiggles" this morning and that she looked so "pathetic". Checked on her!? "You mean, you didn't take her out?!" Great something else left for me to figure out while my back is in excruciating pain and my anus hurts so bad it's indescribable (and better left not described). Point being, walking the dog is not something I am up to. My mom is refusing to walk her, period. He said "She pooped on the floor twice, I guess she doesn't need to go out." That doesn't make sense to me. The dog still has to urinate and we don't know when she pooped or how much she's eaten since she did. She still needs to go outside and now I have to leave her caged up. I can't ask my 7 year old to take her for a walk because she's in heat right now and if that dog got away from her we could have all kinds of problems.

I don't know, is it me? Am I the one having trouble making sense of things that should make perfect sense? Or does my husband seem a little off? Seriously, tell me, because I don't know anymore.

Arizona sounds like a wonderful plan. Surely my husband can get a good night's sleep there.